Immutable in myself is a near constant pursuit of empowerment in my body, mind, heart, and soul. If you spend any amount of time with me, you’ll hear me fighting for, grappling, struggling with, or perhaps playfully wielding my belief in resourceful narrative about Who. I. Am. Some days I’m Jessica Rabbit a la Sex Incarnate traipsing through Los Angeles, the next I have a PHD digesting the latest research on, well, anything geared toward cooking a meal in under 30 minutes. Other times I’m a Monk, embodying Zen as praxis, but most favorably I’m the next IT girl; slamming iced coffees writing a column so honest I’m required to reinvent my relationship to self so as to have the courage to hit Send. Yes, this is how I get shit done. Resourceful narratives have perhaps been the single most important strategy to life I have learned in my 31 years and will absolutely get me through the next 10. Not sure if I want to live longer yet (follow this space for updates!).

After 20 years of therapy, and some Oscar worthy cry sessions to anyone who will watch, I can proudly and with the corniest of emphasis say that I INTEND TO ACT IN A BIG WAY. I declare this publicly, so as to serve as a humiliating form of accountability when I try to hide from the world again.

In a global internet community monotonously barking about how you should and shouldn’t be living, I defy expectation with a freakish shout: ART IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL SAVE YOU. No longer do I yearn for ‘a creative lifestyle,’ because in order to prevent a true crime documentary made about me in a few years, I tend to it as a daily regiment.

Core to my psyche is perceiving Humans as a Species as much as possible. Yes, like an alien. It softens the blow of the truly egregious acts people on this planet do. But more importantly it reminds me of what it takes to survive: mistakes and lessons learned. Alien Eyes, as I call it, nurtures my perception that human imperfection is something to marvel at, and life is much bigger than what I’m currently focusing on.

Heres the part of this credo where I brag: I was born with a learning spirit-- Don’t ask how I got it! Or where it came from!- because even in my smallest and cuddliest form I knew learning was the only thing worth doing around here. What I didn’t know back then, that I now know at the youthful age of 30, is that Learning involves teaching as well as being taught. Owning that responsibility, though a challenge, grounds me.

Finally, and most radically, I admit to my agenda: a Queered World. My vision for a Queer World roots itself in experimenting- yes, with whatever you want. It thinks like The Fool: seeing the unknown as the step forward instead of a step back. Emotions are radically, cornily, embarrassingly supported. And everyone is understood to be the star and never the sidekick. People are honored instead of their ideas.

I challenge myself to be the bravest person in the room wherever I go and humble myself to achieving Big things by focusing on the Small things.